Popscholar

Sometimes I can't hide my shitty food choices.  No lie, once I actually went to acupuncture and S deduced, upon feeling my pulses, that I'd downed a Frappuchino earlier that afternoon.  Talk about skills.

Last week I was in there and I was feeling kind of sluggish.

"Did you eat some candy this week, A? he asked, holding my wrist.

I wasn't going to lie; eff that -- it was Halloween and, damnit, I'd had a few treats.

"You found me out," I told him.  "But I'm unapologetic."

I then proceeded to tell him about how my guru eats McDonald's and all that.

"Oh, you've got to sometimes!" he reassured me.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

A couple of days after the fact I was talking to D (who originally got me into acupuncture) and she informed me that S's vice is donuts.

"I wonder if he likes the Enteman's "rabbit pellet" donuts!" I exclaimed.

D let out a slightly confused laugh.

"You know, those crumb-topped dealies where the crumbs look like rabbit turds.  They're really good," I informed her.*

D was not privy to the "rabbit pellet" donut phenomenon, but I'll bet S is.

I am so going to eat one for breakfast before I go there on Thursday to put his skills to the ultimate test.

*Please tell me you all know what I'm talking about.  They come in two flavors -- chocolate and regular and are processed-food heaven.

I've been loving the irony of the fact that my new-agey, mindful former therapist shuns tofu in favor of the Quarter Pounder.  After many a recent laugh, I shot her a quick email:

I had the most random, funny memory of you recently and I just had to write.  It's crazy what sometimes stays with us, but anyway...  Back when G and I were buying our house, you and I got talking about the general area and somehow Gray's Ferry Avenue came up.  You said something to the effect of, "That's where my McDonald's is!"  I've always loved that because there's so much self-righteous, I-only-eat-tofu bullshit among people who are into new-agey, self-care stuff.  Anyway, the reason I thought of it was because I bought this yoga book and in it there is this corny joke that goes, "What did the yogi say when he walked into the pizza parlor?"  "Make me one with everything."  Lame, but, in my world, you can have it both ways.  I'll have you know that I had a meal in your honor the other day while driving up 95 -- McDonald's was the only option!

The first line of her response:

Yep, I STILL love me some McDonalds!  Gross but true...

Tonight, on the way back from dinner in Jersey with the padres, we came down Gray's Ferry Avenue.  All of a sudden I busted out laughing. 

"Hey G, there's L's McDonald's!" I said, pointing.

"Do you think it's like Norm from Cheers when she goes in there?" he asked.  "Hey, L!"

L and I will likely get together for lunch over the holidays.  To make the idea of a date with me more enticing, I know just where to offer to take her. 

And they've got plenty 'o trans-fat to go 'round...

*To be quite honest, Mickey D's doesn't really do it for me; it's the principle that matters here.  My personal fast food vice is Dunkin Donuts where they now have chai that's more addicting than crack (not that I've ever tried crack, mind you). 

There are a lot of terrible therapists out in the field. There are also a lot of unenlightened clients keeping them in business. Lately I've heard a couple of stories that further attest to such incompetence.

In a phone convo with GJ the other night I blurted out, "I think I need to get a bumper sticker made that says, 'Your therapist sucks' since it's true like 90% of the time." We both had a good laugh.

Yesterday, while at therapy, D was talking about the same phenomenon. "Sometimes I am really disheartened by what I hear going on out there," she told me. At that, I unleashed my bumper sticker idea on her.

It was met with a genuine guffaw, which was all the validation I needed. I am so getting these babies made.

This past weekend epitomized precisely that KJ has been referring to as “deep love.”  I spent the last three days in Northampton, MA with 10 amazing writers and people, creating, sharing, connecting, eating, singing, and laughing.

There was a rare cohesiveness to the group; we were all seemingly in sync and the quality of the work was stunning.  I know my own writing benefited from the amazing energy that permeated the Big Yellow House.

Honestly, I’m having a really difficult time putting into words the magic of my experience.  So, I’ll leave you with a list of Top Ten Moments, in no particular order:

1. Hearing everyone’s work (I know this is cheating, but if I were to name specifics I’d need a whole other blog!).
2. Meeting Bill and singing 10,000 Maniacs songs while he played Nerissa’s antique Steinway
3. Watching Nerissa try to make her teammates guess “Ron Jeremy” in Attaturk.
4. Kicking Nerissa’s ass at her own game (go Team George!).
5. Playing the “Bush” game with K and N late night at the Brewery.
6. Deep convos with KJ about therapy.
7. The Hootenanny in KJ and JB’s living room.
8. The trip to Faces (where I bought the game “Who’s the Biggest Pervert?”)
9. Quiet, late-night catch-up time with M in the backseat of K’s car.
10. Nerissa’s invitation to the group to come back and do it all again for my b-day weekend.

In the words of my girl, Natalie, “Holidays must end, as you know.  All is memory, taken home with me…”

Good night, Kids (that one’s for you, KJ!)

1. I'm feeling particularly anxious today.
2. My daily horoscope said that today was going to be about "warmth and affection," but I'm just not feelin' it.
3. I have been working to cultivate a more regular yoga practice.
4. "Gym yoga" is really not "Studio yoga"; therefore I am rethinking my gym membership.
5. I connected with a really great woman from my Psych class -- we've both had the intuitive sense that we were on the same wavelength for a while, but we finally took that next "let's hang out" step.
6. Making friends at age 29 sometimes feels like dating.
7. Tomorrow night I'm going to Sex Dwarf.
8. Beforehand I am having dinner with two of my very best friends and I'm looking forward to it greatly.
9. Tuesday night I got a flat tire and had to wait almost two hours for a tow truck.
10. Thankfully Krizmic kept me company via the phone!
11. Tomorrow Little Children (the movie) comes out.
12. I am seeing it on Saturday with G.
13. I cannot wait for a week from tomorrow -- Big Yellow!